I was fed on nerves in my first week of trading, I never thought about what it would be like to trade until the night before.
How nervous was I standing in the street? Being gazed at, nervously being seen by passersby, feeling the close proximity of the customers, the way everyone stared at me as they walked passed. The first day was the hardest, and I was hidden behind the van facing the bicycle shelter, because, of course, it rained my first few days. It rained, and it rained. I didn't realise how tired I would be from waking up at 4.15am for the first time in my life, and of course, I was still learning my new espresso machine, which I would come to know intimately. The silver machine awakens each morning, breathing fire into coffee, this dragon machine, friend, my warmest pal.
And so I stood in a puddle for those first three days, and watched the sugar became wet on the table underneath the shelter.
"Your table is getting wet" Michael said, my local who became a regular.
"I know." We both looked at the table sadly.
"What will you do when the weather gets really bad?"
"I don't know yet."
Commuters searched me with their eyes asking, "Will you be here tomorrow?"
And I was. And the next day as well. I was there every day except the weekend.
That was three weeks ago.
I've had a couple of mornings where I failed to get my night's sleep beforehand, and my regulars were sympathetic. But this reminscing does not constitute a collage, the first few weeks of my trading was interspersed with changes at home, shedding my marital status, (I had been alone for years).
I saw a sign above every door that said, "be true to oneself". And so everything has been changing at once. My business is changing me, I shed the Job and became my own Employer. I feel part of a special club. I know secrets. I know what it is like to risk everything to make something from nothing. My new friend said I had created an oasis in a desert.
Yes, looking back at these first few weeks, is like looking at a collage of experiences, of places and dreams, I see the faces of people I knew for a few moments who are now gone, back behind a wall.
I am waiting now to see what comes next. As I surrender to my afternoon nap that was once a waking dream, I find that I am no longer fearful. I am ready for the next chapter.
How nervous was I standing in the street? Being gazed at, nervously being seen by passersby, feeling the close proximity of the customers, the way everyone stared at me as they walked passed. The first day was the hardest, and I was hidden behind the van facing the bicycle shelter, because, of course, it rained my first few days. It rained, and it rained. I didn't realise how tired I would be from waking up at 4.15am for the first time in my life, and of course, I was still learning my new espresso machine, which I would come to know intimately. The silver machine awakens each morning, breathing fire into coffee, this dragon machine, friend, my warmest pal.
And so I stood in a puddle for those first three days, and watched the sugar became wet on the table underneath the shelter.
"Your table is getting wet" Michael said, my local who became a regular.
"I know." We both looked at the table sadly.
"What will you do when the weather gets really bad?"
"I don't know yet."
Commuters searched me with their eyes asking, "Will you be here tomorrow?"
And I was. And the next day as well. I was there every day except the weekend.
That was three weeks ago.
I've had a couple of mornings where I failed to get my night's sleep beforehand, and my regulars were sympathetic. But this reminscing does not constitute a collage, the first few weeks of my trading was interspersed with changes at home, shedding my marital status, (I had been alone for years).
I saw a sign above every door that said, "be true to oneself". And so everything has been changing at once. My business is changing me, I shed the Job and became my own Employer. I feel part of a special club. I know secrets. I know what it is like to risk everything to make something from nothing. My new friend said I had created an oasis in a desert.
Yes, looking back at these first few weeks, is like looking at a collage of experiences, of places and dreams, I see the faces of people I knew for a few moments who are now gone, back behind a wall.
I am waiting now to see what comes next. As I surrender to my afternoon nap that was once a waking dream, I find that I am no longer fearful. I am ready for the next chapter.
